by: Lanisha Porter To have sex and dismiss the connection that is being shared is the absolute lowest experience. To use someone only as a means to your end cheapens what sex means. Sex is powerful for the spirit and the flesh...so very powerful that it carries the potential to create new life. Needless to say, we live in a culture where sex is easily available, which means we get to bypass ever seeing the value in it. Sex to me is the highest and most intimate celebration of love. It is special to me because it is sharing your body, your energy, and your matter with another person. In my world there's nothing casual about being offered the privilege to invade in someone's personal space like that. To have sex and dismiss the connection that is being shared is the absolute lowest experience. To use someone only as a means to your end cheapens what sex means. Sex is powerful for the spirit and the flesh...so very powerful that it carries the potential to create new life. Needless to say, we live in a culture where sex is easily available, which means we get to bypass ever seeing the value in it. Sex has literally become a retreat for selfish-pleasure instead of mutual bonding. We've lost what the exchange should be about; we have forgotten that sex should, in my opinion, be an exchange.
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by: Lanisha Porter
There was no way he could always protect me let alone be sure he was genuinely connecting with me in a way I would understand, given that there is a 43-year old age gap between my father and I. He could have lost my attention in any number of ways given the cultural rivals he had to raise me against. By: Lanisha Porter I know to you, you see yourself as an innocent guy simply using confidence to fit the cultural idea of maleness which secures your masculinity to be considered a man in society. MI·SOG·Y·NY
1) dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women. PRED·A·TOR 1) an animal that naturally preys on others. 2) a person or group that ruthlessly exploits others. You may have a way with some women but this shouldn’t give you reason to believe all women are the same. With continuous success comes confidence so I understand why you are confident given the women you have entirely had your way with. But I want you to diversify your palette. Please stop painting the picture of women with one stereotypical broad stroke because you’ve been successful with a small subset of the female population. by: Lanisha PorterI found myself deeply curious about if it was truly biology that compelled men to cheat, or if that was just a social construct said to give men a pass. Not knowing the answer to this made me take a long hard look at marriage and reconsider if it was something I ever really wanted to do. The more I matured and my innocence divorced me, society allowed me to unravel some harsh truths. Sadly, I had been awakened to the fact that men were very different from the fantasy beings that I had idealized them to be from my girlhood and packed into my womanhood with me. You see, I’ve always held men in high esteem and for the first time in my life I had an honest realization of how weak they were especially in the flesh. by: Lanisha PorterA paradox is when two opposites are true usually at the same time. A paradox itself models inconsistency, and ultimately contradiction. The way that I view Destiny is completely paradoxical. I believe that we possess the power within ourselves to create our Destiny, but simultaneously, I also believe some things are already divinely organized and predetermined for us. Reflectively, if some things are already predetermined, it seems that our choices are not truly our own and we lack power over our own Destinies. By: Lanisha Porter If you've opened this I imagine it's because you've been hurt, and it has literally knocked the breath out of your body. Maybe the pain has even went so far to bring you to your knees pleading with God to never let anything like that happen again. Perhaps you've even started slacking in classes, and have been distracted from being the best you you know you should be. You want to put everything off for another day when you actually feel like it. I've been there. It's no fun picking up shattered pieces of your heart or your pride. But guess what? The same hand that has written even the greatest moments of your life has also written this for you. You just have to go through it. Not because you deserve it or the world is punishing you, but because it's the very making of who you're supposed to be. By: Lanisha Porter My usual spill to young ladies is to delay sexual interaction at all costs. Simply because sex at a young age often comes with consequences many young people aren’t yet mature enough to handle. I believe youthfulness is best spent securing endless possibilities for the adult self. But I’ve realized that that advice often falls on deaf ears in a culture that glorifies sex and shuns chastity. Therefore, instead of telling you not to, I’m telling you to choose wisely when you do decide to engage in sex. By: Lanisha Porter I’m the type of woman who most likely will prepare my very own vows for our special day because there’s so much I’ll have to tell you. First, I will tell you how year after year I’ve placed a deadbolt on the floodgate to my sea, so no one could trespass and go pearl-diving in the treasures that only belong to you. Occasion after occasion, I’ve carried myself in such a manner that you would be more than proud to make me the very reflection of you, as your wife. The world is a small town so maybe we have crossed paths, not knowing the inseparable link of destiny we would one day share. Maybe we share the same friends or run in the same circle of associates. Wherever you are, I know God has started a good work in you. I know because I have prayed that he has. I pray about you maybe as much as I pray for myself. By: Lanisha PorterAnytime I get the chance to talk to a woman who has been married for some years, I love to pick her brain for words of insight. Recently I had the chance to chat with a woman who had been married for 46 years. I asked her what was the key to their longevity in marriage; She simply told me commitment throughout the good and the bad.
My semester just wrapped up an hour ago and I couldn't be more glad because these past few days have had me running on my reserve tank, although I knew the end was near. If you are like me you've spent this semester being a dedicated student working 2 part jobs, balancing 18 credits hours, juggling the responsibilities of being an RA, running a club and trying to be supportive of different club and department events that graciously extend invitations to you. Not to mention aiming to be a dependable friend, an obedient daughter, a concerned sister, aunty, role model and of course maintain the patience of being a nice person. So, despite your tiredness you catch a 35-minute nap and decide to show your face at the places you have been requested. While already running behind schedule, you also manage to hold the door open for the person behind you an additional few seconds, for them not to even say thank you. And in the midst of it all you try not to admit to the fact that you are stretched thin and are feeling…well...jaded and sometimes underappreciated.
by: Lanisha PorterHaving a mother is important for a young girl because a mom serves as the standard in which that little girl will aspire to become as a woman. For me, that standard was never an arms-reach away. The standard of what a woman should be actually didn't come from the things my mother did but instead the things she didn't do. My mother decided on a new life that meant we would live in two different states. Her decision left me to be raised by my father during the most developmental years of my life. Growing up without a mother meant I often turned to Beyoncé and Clair Huxtable to raise me because an exclusive magazine interview from Beyoncé had been more consistent than my own mother had. Part of the reason I decided to major in Philosophy was to seek truth about some of life’s most daunting questions. I think we all branch outside of ourselves to find what’s right and find what path we should take. Whenever I was stomped for guidance I would survey others and gather their opinions to see if there was any underlying truth. I started to feel that the easy thing to do was turn to other people in times of uncertainty to figure out answers I needed. I did this because in moments of anxiety, my own judgment may have been clouded or I may have had limited perception to the whole picture. But something I’ve learned is that too many voices in your ear can leave you unhappy and confused. Most important, when you rely on other people's advice so often it makes you less confident in making your own decisions. And speaking my for myself, there's no good reason I should ever feel less than confident in my own decision-making. Here's why...
By: Lanisha Porter It is always said be careful what you pray for in the event you might receive it after-all. I thought I wanted to be in love...I'm not so sure I want to be anymore.
For a while I'd prayed to God, entrusting him with my hopes that he would bless me with a partner whose presence was good for my soul. Until then I vowed to just be about my business (hence my favorite motto business over boys), and I vowed to have a focus so sharp that it could cut glass. During the wait I became well acquainted with aloneness and after a while it started to feel right. Oddly, it felt like my strength. Being single for so long many of my ideas about love had become cemented into my expectations. (What do you expect when a young woman has had a lot of time and an imagination?) But when I got close enough to love I saw the ugly parts that are tightly concealed behind the glamour of romance. Its then I realized my idea of how it should go and how it actually goes differed. I pen this to share how my mind has been absorbed into a certain way of thinking which I call...."The Single Life Syndrome." The idea sold to most girls is that if you focus on and develop yourself, the perfect guy will come along eventually. All you have to do is have something to offer and you’ll "find" happiness. I fell for that idea.
Immerse myself in my education. Check. Have a sense of independence. Check. Be pretty. Check Dress well. Check. Keep a clean reputation. Check Have more to offer than looks. Check Be fun. Check. By: Lanisha Porter The act of killing a bug makes a very obvious statement within itself: my life is more important than yours. In a way this suggests that humans have a superiority complex when compared to the life of a bug; almost like an existential narcissism. I believe that if God in all his wisdom created the heavens and the earth, everything in-between from the human to even the smallest bug itself should be respected in its existence. By: Lanisha Porter It is important for everyone to practice self-control and know when to say no to themselves. The body has a way of urging us to often honor lower goods and worldly pleasures. If we always indulge in what may seem like immediate goods we will struggle to know the real higher goods of life. For instance, if we continue this hook-up culture where we constantly have sex without any emotional meaning behind it, we will abandon the need to nurture long-term commitments and eventually see the all-important-family-unit become broken and dysfunctional. Ultimately, I believe casual sex demoralizes the purpose of finding a life partner and once this happens we will continue to see concentrated areas of poverty, underdeveloped communities not supported by strong family institutions, and see a rise of degenerate members in society. If one doesn't have discipline they will never know the higher offering of true love and relationships built on virtues and not lust. By: Lanisha Porter So often we condition young girls to believe that they should be attracted to the cultural idea of maleness; we encourage them to want the confident and charming guy but what we don't tell them is that the over-arching principle of those traits are that those guys may secretly be domineering and will try to insert their power in places they don't really belong like in the relationship. The relationship should never be a power struggle if it's coming from a true place of love. We forget to tell our girls that the man should want to conquer their heart and not their submission. By: Lanisha D. Porter
"....Although he was nothing to me he was very much something to me. It was almost sickening how loyal I had become to the potential we had even though the potential never promised to be a commitment." Whenever I tried to polarize my emotions I still didn't feel like I was making a good decision. If I completely dropped him I could be missing out on a good thing; comparatively if I stayed unclear about what we were and if we were headed anywhere, I could've just wasted good time and energy. Confused on whether to pull myself left or right I just stayed in the middle...in the gray. In the gray area we existed by no set of rules, accountability or obligations but mostly by season. Whenever he felt like reaching out I answered. I went months at a time without hearing a whisper from him and with 900 miles between us it was always a pleasure to hear from him while I was away at college. I was hopeful but not sold on this idea of us because there were fundamental differences between us such as our age. To renew my hope I started to convince myself this was alright because it was happening very slow and slow was good. Slow was good in my mind because when you can delay instant gratification you make it to a deeper place and it lasts longer with a richer appreciation. If good things come with patience I believed this could very well have been a good thing. Lanisha Porter So many people will pass on from this life never being told the strength and power they embody with their minds alone, so please allow me the lapse of 5 minutes to talk to you. You have WEALTH in that vault called your mind; liquidate it and do something meaningful with what you find. I recorded this video at 2am in the morning because I was up doing some of my own gold-mining through my mind in hopes that one day I can cash in on something I find. I found this...please watch and please share. LANISHA PORTER Growing up as a devout Christian in church I was taught from a very early age that I must always pay due reverence to God and that it is through him, and through him only in which I can achieve things. With this belief I stayed in constant prayer asking him to make something meaningful of my life. My prayer since I was a little girl has been that God molds me into something special.
In a way it is easy to believe that anything we want to become, or anyplace we want to go….our fate, has been decided by God. Why? Because it takes the pressure, anxiety and responsibility away from us and bestows it all in the hands of The Lord. This means we will experience fruits whether we labor or not because it has already been predetermined by God. |
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