Growing up as a devout Christian in church I was taught from a very early age that I must always pay due reverence to God and that it is through him, and through him only in which I can achieve things. With this belief I stayed in constant prayer asking him to make something meaningful of my life. My prayer since I was a little girl has been that God molds me into something special.
In a way it is easy to believe that anything we want to become, or anyplace we want to go….our fate, has been decided by God. Why? Because it takes the pressure, anxiety and responsibility away from us and bestows it all in the hands of The Lord. This means we will experience fruits whether we labor or not because it has already been predetermined by God.
However, life becomes a bit scary when all that we have the potential to be is left up to us, solely. If it is really true that our destiny is independent of Gods prophecy for us, we suddenly have so much power to determine what we do or do not become.
These past couple of years as I have gained more social responsibility in the world and continued my walk of faith, my heart has been troubled with one question: who is in control of my life? I deeply wondered if I had free will or was I governed by Gods Determinism? Do I get to choose who I become? If I take control and believe I can will my own destiny then I would be challenging Gods will for my life, wouldn’t I? But if I believed God already has a predetermined end for my life and all that I will become, then the means through which I choose to live my life are pointless because it has all been decided before my existence. Basically I’d be existing for an end I do not know. I would have to accept that I am indeed powerless, limited and just a ball of potential that will never be used at my own preferences.
But…I do not believe that. I believe I am powerful, limitless and a great big ball potential that can be maximized to pursue any one of my hearts desires. While I acknowledge that God is an all-powerful and omniscient being that stands outside of time who has granted me the space to exist, I believe he has entrusted me with just a seed of that power for myself. Maybe God doesn’t give us a compass to follow his Will; perhaps he just simply gives us protection to go wherever we want. Jean-Paul Sartre, a French philosopher, once made a claim that as humans our existence precedes our essence and we can therefore conclude that it is us who gets to choose our purposes, not God.
At 20 years old, I believe in a balance of free choice and fate. I believe the cosmic forces of the universe are always working just as our own minds, desires and actions are, and I believe signs that God is pleased is when the cosmic forces and your own desires align and opportunity opens up. To think that God has constructed life in such a way that us humans do not have free choice, would be saying He has made us all believe in Him in our hearts. But that’s not the case. We all believe and perceive differently which is proof of our freedom. We all inhabit the space to have our own reasoning, logic, souls, appetites, feelings and all other type of immaterial matter based on our very real ability to choose. I think God, even in all his power, gives us the freedom to construct our own personhoods and that is encouraging. God had enough faith in you and I to trust we could get it right.
So do I have power over my life? Yes. Does God have power over my life? Absolutely. Does him having power over my life make my power any less real? Nope. In fact it amplifies my power because I will strive to maximum my full human potential to achieve the most good and avoid the evils because I know of God. I was put here and given the chance to exist which was beyond my control but how I utilize that space is all in my control. And I’m sure at the very least God will be pleased that we cared enough to get permission on leading our own lives.
Welcome to my views from this horizon!