By: Lanisha Porter
Anytime I get the chance to talk to a woman who has been married for some years, I love to pick her brain for words of insight. Recently I had the chance to chat with a woman who had been married for 46 years. I asked her what was the key to their longevity in marriage; She simply told me commitment throughout the good and the bad.
My semester just wrapped up an hour ago and I couldn't be more glad because these past few days have had me running on my reserve tank, although I knew the end was near. If you are like me you've spent this semester being a dedicated student working 2 part jobs, balancing 18 credits hours, juggling the responsibilities of being an RA, running a club and trying to be supportive of different club and department events that graciously extend invitations to you. Not to mention aiming to be a dependable friend, an obedient daughter, a concerned sister, aunty, role model and of course maintain the patience of being a nice person. So, despite your tiredness you catch a 35-minute nap and decide to show your face at the places you have been requested. While already running behind schedule, you also manage to hold the door open for the person behind you an additional few seconds, for them not to even say thank you. And in the midst of it all you try not to admit to the fact that you are stretched thin and are feeling…well...jaded and sometimes underappreciated.
by: Lanisha Porter
Having a mother is important for a young girl because a mom serves as the standard in which that little girl will aspire to become as a woman. For me, that standard was never an arms-reach away. The standard of what a woman should be actually didn't come from the things my mother did but instead the things she didn't do. My mother decided on a new life that meant we would live in two different states. Her decision left me to be raised by my father during the most developmental years of my life. Growing up without a mother meant I often turned to Beyoncé and Clair Huxtable to raise me because an exclusive magazine interview from Beyoncé had been more consistent than my own mother had.
Part of the reason I decided to major in Philosophy was to seek truth about some of life’s most daunting questions. I think we all branch outside of ourselves to find what’s right and find what path we should take. Whenever I was stomped for guidance I would survey others and gather their opinions to see if there was any underlying truth. I started to feel that the easy thing to do was turn to other people in times of uncertainty to figure out answers I needed. I did this because in moments of anxiety, my own judgment may have been clouded or I may have had limited perception to the whole picture. But something I’ve learned is that too many voices in your ear can leave you unhappy and confused. Most important, when you rely on other people's advice so often it makes you less confident in making your own decisions. And speaking my for myself, there's no good reason I should ever feel less than confident in my own decision-making. Here's why...
By: Lanisha Porter
It is always said be careful what you pray for in the event you might receive it after-all. I thought I wanted to be in love...I'm not so sure I want to be anymore.
For a while I'd prayed to God, entrusting him with my hopes that he would bless me with a partner whose presence was good for my soul. Until then I vowed to just be about my business (hence my favorite motto business over boys), and I vowed to have a focus so sharp that it could cut glass.
During the wait I became well acquainted with aloneness and after a while it started to feel right. Oddly, it felt like my strength. Being single for so long many of my ideas about love had become cemented into my expectations. (What do you expect when a young woman has had a lot of time and an imagination?) But when I got close enough to love I saw the ugly parts that are tightly concealed behind the glamour of romance. Its then I realized my idea of how it should go and how it actually goes differed.
I pen this to share how my mind has been absorbed into a certain way of thinking which I call...."The Single Life Syndrome."
The idea sold to most girls is that if you focus on and develop yourself, the perfect guy will come along eventually. All you have to do is have something to offer and you’ll "find" happiness. I fell for that idea.
Immerse myself in my education. Check.
Have a sense of independence. Check.
Be pretty. Check
Dress well. Check.
Keep a clean reputation. Check
Have more to offer than looks. Check
Be fun. Check.
By: Lanisha Porter
The act of killing a bug makes a very obvious statement within itself: my life is more important than yours. In a way this suggests that humans have a superiority complex when compared to the life of a bug; almost like an existential narcissism. I believe that if God in all his wisdom created the heavens and the earth, everything in-between from the human to even the smallest bug itself should be respected in its existence.
By: Lanisha Porter
It is important for everyone to practice self-control and know when to say no to themselves. The body has a way of urging us to often honor lower goods and worldly pleasures. If we always indulge in what may seem like immediate goods we will struggle to know the real higher goods of life.
For instance, if we continue this hook-up culture where we constantly have sex without any emotional meaning behind it, we will abandon the need to nurture long-term commitments and eventually see the all-important-family-unit become broken and dysfunctional. Ultimately, I believe casual sex demoralizes the purpose of finding a life partner and once this happens we will continue to see concentrated areas of poverty, underdeveloped communities not supported by strong family institutions, and see a rise of degenerate members in society. If one doesn't have discipline they will never know the higher offering of true love and relationships built on virtues and not lust.
Welcome to my views from this horizon!