​A few months ago I sat with a loved one as she read me messages she had recently received from a past lover from decades ago. The messages from him were confessions about how in hindsight he sees that he married the wrong woman, and wishes instead he married her. Though I was grateful she trusted in me enough to share such with me, I was disappointed to learn the truth about the reservoir of a man’s heart. Essentially, this made me slow my roll on wanting to become a wife.

​This, at first, was one of those personal anecdotes I had planned to lock in my personal vault of experiences never to be shared. I decided not to share because it was a threat to everything I was supposed be and a counter to the way I expected to be treated. In order to keep my dignity, my pride, and my sense of empowerment I figured I'd keep it to myself. That is until I realized so many women share the same story, yet healing is harder to come by because no one wants to share that they have experienced it. Though the protective muteness can be understood; it has no dutiful service to womanhood and helping other women overcome. Therefore I share this story in raw detail...