by: Lanisha Porter
When I say sister, it’s not an affiliation that treads out of my mouth lightly. When I crown a bond to mirror that of a sistership, it means I select to commit myself to the obligations, and efforts needed to keep that woman up. Growing up, from the absence of not having any sisters, it had always been my dream to have that bond in my lifetime. To substitute that void, I started adopting my friends as sisters. Sometimes those bonds worked, but sometimes they fell short of what I had imagined a sister to be. In each disappointment I faced, I made sure that I was being to someone else the sister I always wanted someone to be to me.
Over time, I’ve been blessed to adopt sisters who really do live up to the title. And without my sistergirls, I know my life would be a little less full. My sistergirls have wiped tears, supported dreams, helped me conjure up confidence, answered awkward questions, and have extended a hand in moments where I felt most alone. I’ve learned that sisterhood and friendship is at the root of all strength, and serves as one of the most virtuous crowns to ever wear. Learning to uplift other women in such a way that they believe they embody a light worthy to be illuminated is a gracious power. And if you use that power the right way your sistership will inspire a light in another woman that will radiate far beyond what you can imagine. In a world that consistently launches chronic attacks on the woman, it does mean much to me to surround myself with sisters who I can trust and lean on when needed.
It was a sister who first taught me how to ever use a tampon.
It was a sister who donated $150 to me when I told her I wanted to write a book.
It was a sister who gave me her lunch when I had forgot my lunch money at home.
It was a sister who guarded me and moved me away from the window to make sure no one could see me when I broke down crying in the middle of a restaurant.
It was a sister who opened her home to me and told me I could stay as long as I needed.
It was a sister who invited me to sleep in her bed when she sensed that I may have felt isolated sleeping on the couch alone.
It was a sister who when I was giving her a gift, unexpectedly, got me a gift too.
It was a sister who sat down and prepped me for all that I needed to know about law school and even got me a prep book.
It is my truest sisters who won’t even allow the guys who mean me no good to get close enough to me. They won’t relay messages, give out my number, or run the risk of me being distracted.
These are the women I invite into my space, and will willingly share myself with and overextend for. I love being around sisters I don’t have to worry around—I don’t have to worry if I’ve said too much, showed too much, or have loved too much. I like being completely free in how I love. I like being able to pour as much love as I want into my sisterly bonds without someone thinking there are ulterior motives. As I look back on my charted territories throughout life, I’m so glad I’ve had those chances to be a sister with other sisters. I’m happy for the hours-long conversations, the nights of braiding hair and talking boys, the days comparing stretch marks and discussing body image, and talking to each other from the toilet with the door open. All because each encounter reminds me that I’m not alone in this journey. And though God didn’t send them to me through blood relation, he still was plentiful in blessing me with women I can call sisters.
Welcome to my views from this horizon!