What I Want My Son To Know

by: Lanisha Porter

It's bad to be enslaved by someone but it's even worse to be enslaved by your own self. And unfortunately, sex often times enslaves one to their own passions and they become a prisoner to their bodily yearnings. While procreation is a very natural part of life, too much of any one thing can become dangerous. In our society, ones  manhood is secured by hyper masculinity and hyper masculinity means a lot of women and a lot of sex. But gender is a performance and a lot of men have the wrong idea about how the performance should go. 
 
Therefore, if I ever had a son I'd tell him being a man isn't about what he is getting, it's about what he is getting at. Let me explain.

To me body counts are just a false inflation to ones manhood. You can get a lot of sex but what is it going to do for you in the long run? What success did it help you arrive at? 
 
Sex doesn't accumulate wealth, it doesn't make your house bigger, it doesn't make the car you have any nicer, it doesn't double your education, it's just a temporary feeling of satisfaction that makes you feel good. But having a large body cant be used as credentials for your resume, or even be obituary-worthy so why spend your life making that your greatest or proudest accomplishment?
 
Having a lot of women is only praise worthy—but it's not marketable. You can't put it in an investment portfolio. The biggest honor that comes from it is to have people talking about you. And if that excites you that means you value praise over purpose. You have to learn to think beyond the moment and put forethought into the consequences. When you pick your actions you also pick your consequences. Unfortunately, for my son, I'll never be a man but I feel I can voice my opinion on this because I know what it means to be a woman. I know what it is to see family's fall apart. I know how it feels to see women hurt; and little boys suffer from lack of father figures, all because a man was enslaved to sex.
 
My unborn son should know if his greatest concern is accumulating women and not generational wealth, that would make me feel as though I somehow failed as a mother. It means you literally care more about sex than the success of your future lineage. Without wealth, there is no survival. If you aspire to be a man you have to grow and put childish things away. You have to discipline yourself. You must first master how to head your own business before you can head anybody else's household. And I would use every ounce of my being to stress this to my son. I'd plead of him not to be a man who cares more about keeping his shoes clean rather than his name. I'd make sure to raise my son in such a way that he understands that women are gifts and not games. He would understand that it is more important to me what he plans to achieve in his life, and not the women he achieves.