By: Lanisha Porter
So you’ve blinked back your tears, and day after day you’ve tried to see the world through glossy eyes blurred with deep disappointment and stains of resentment. You probably thought crying over him was a weak thing to do but in fact it was the very cleansing you needed. And now, you realize something.
It’s okay to finally let go and never look back.
You see, strong women don't really spend too much time looking back trying to reorganize the past. Instead, strong women are resilient and learn to roll with the punches life jabs at her. This is what often makes people in awe of women like you; your ability to carry on. Its evident that you are built differently and can carry the heaviest of loads with fierce grace making it look like ease.
So knowing this about yourself, it kind of blindsided you when you found yourself with lingering emotions over him making it hard to let go. But can I tell you this...you’ve already done the hardest part by dealing with the pain, but now its time to focus on the progress. What is to come after this? See with everything you just currently endured, you became more equipped. You built the strength, character, and tolerance needed to now deal with whatever the future holds just for you. However, it will be hard to receive the new if you are still positioning yourself toward the old. Naturally, I’m sure you’ve sifted through all the possibilities in your mind about it working out or him coming back. And deep down inside you’ve already practiced and accepted that you would forgive him for his transgressions.
I must say...it was big of you to make that decision. But may I quickly offer you another token of advice? Just because you forgive doesn’t mean you have to forge.
Let that sink in.
Just because you’ve chosen to forgive, doesn’t mean you have to forge yourself to return to that place you were once in willing to make it work. Just take the growth and go. Your lesson has been learned and now new ones await. Stop the continual rehearsal of hope you have in your mind. Stop replaying the sweet things he said to you. Quit trying to re-figure the puzzle in a way that makes sense, when he has clearly already showed you who he is. The disrespect was very real evidence and true confessions of his character up-to-date. Accept that. Stop recalling all the reasons it could work because one thing is true. If he actually meant to treat you right, he would have. You were not mistreated by accident, my love. So with the grace of a lady, and not the uncontrolled emotional spasms of a child, positon yourself to move forward. Delete the messages, store away the pictures, excuse yourself from shared networks, change your number if needed, block his number, undo the social media connections, reduce the time spent with mutual friends, set new boundaries, switch up your playlists if certain songs remind you of him, give him back his things, and most importantly, decide you are going to be happy!
Once you stop flirting with the idea of happiness and really get committed to securing it, you will stop torturing yourself by choosing to look back. I can almost bet my last dollar that you aren’t the one that lost out on the prize. Most likely it was them. I know because you clicked on this, and if you are having trouble letting go that means you were the one holding on more tightly and passionately. To skip out on someone who genuinely loves tightly and passionately is most definitely THEIR loss. Not yours. In time your absence will create a void that cannot easily be filled. Trust me. Good lovers are always in demand. In the meantime, fall back deeply in love with yourself, and make it explosive!! You are worth the warmth of one billion suns, and nobody should ever hinder how you shine or energize the world with your sun rays. When you realize this…the eclipse is over. You will no longer allow him to orbit near you and block your light. Perhaps you are someone’s daughter, sister, mother, aunty, friend, role model, confidante, and/or happiness. Either or, you are important and are needed. It’s not fair to abandon your proper due of obligations to those roles, all because of what one person has done wrong. When someone wants to leave you, let them. The Lord giveth and He taketh away but we should be slow to anger because we never know what the future—that only He can see—holds for us.
So today, as you brim with new realization, understand that letting go is never an end…it’s merely a beginning that you must embark on, using the knowledge you previously learned to help you navigate. And though you may not have been able to conjure up the confidence to do it more recently, I need you to look in the mirror and realize who the f*ck you are! Allow yourself a total lapse of humility to bask in who you is (yes, I said who YOU is) and what it is you have going for yourself. Once it hits you, I’m sure you’ll understand why you shouldn’t be giving people discounts on your worth anyways. It’s literally the most expensive mistake you can make in life. Now that you've had your awakening and you've decided its time to pull yourself up from that low place, all you have to do is stand up. The best way to put the past behind you, is to walk forward with the future to guide you.
Welcome to my views from this horizon!