by: Lanisha Porter
The world will always try to sell you insecurities; don't buy them. Master the greatest type of beauty—inner beauty. If you master this beauty you will forever be in the major leagues while the other girls will be merely in the minor leagues. Be most beautiful on the inside
There's nothing casual about you, don't let any man treat you like it. You have every right to know what his intentions are with you and where your life is headed.
Pay attention to his actions because they are also very honest confessions of his character. You may be disappointed to learn that most young boys don't get it right but eventually they grow up. Don't feel obligated to wait for them to hit their growth spurts though.
It's okay to be arm-strong but learn to be self-strong, first. If it can be taken away, don't anchor your happiness in it. Even in love, save a piece of yourself for yourself. By and by you will understand what I mean. Just know you are already made complete in God and never in the discovery of a lover. This doesn't mean you are less dedicated, this means you are grounded in truth.
Promise mommy that you will always, always, always save your own money.
If you are constantly depended on someone else to provide for you then ultimately they have the space to exert their power over you. I never want you to tolerate being mistreated due to lack of funds. Do whatever you need to do to secure a way for you to always have access to your own money. This means money aside from a mutual bank account and money aside from shared cards.
The world will always try to sell you insecurities; don't buy them. Master the greatest type of beauty—inner beauty. If you master this beauty you will forever be in the major leagues while the other girls will be merely in the minor leagues. Be most beautiful on the inside. That's what truly counts in the grand scheme of opportunity. What's on the inside leaves an everlasting expression that radiates far after youth fades. Shallow impressions left by the imprint of a makeup brush cannot begin to compete with the power of inner beauty.
Keep your soul healthy and balanced. Don't indulge in every impulse. Sort through your emotions. Be reflective and exercise the gift of forethought. People often undermine the power that thought has. Learn to think things through but don't stay entirely safe. Be enthralled in your life’s journey but really take the learning opportunity out of each lesson. Experience is the greatest truth.
Be glitter: it leaves a trail of remnants not easily disposed nor forgotten. You create your reputation by each interaction you have with people so be effective, genuine, and kind. Make them remember you. Unfortunately, people will betray you and try to hurt you; it's expected. But I promise, as your mother, it's still worth being a good person anyways.
Remember you are an equal. Any man who feels emasculated by you speaking your mind probably has his manhood rooted in making you feel small. Don't let him assert his power over your life. He has his own life for that. Embrace your own identity. Wear your high heels; use your big words; and keep a firm hold on your dreams. If he minds, he's not the one. If he's the one, he won't mind. You'll be his equivalent and it will excite him and not intimidate him.
Get back up once you fall. Think of each trial as a test from God. How do you want Gods evaluation of you to read? Do you want it to say easily broken under pressure? Not trusting of my plan? No you don't. Everything and everyone you meet is silently giving you directions to navigate toward your personal legend. The same hand that has written even the greatest moments has written your hardships. Accept it. Don't let bad times color your world as being black and white; believe in the color still.
I say this with emphasis—Keep good women around you. Virtuous women who put into practice what goodness looks like. Surround yourself with women you can call sisters and honest friends. Having a good company of women around you is extremely significant in how your life and personhood flourishes out. Celebrate life alongside women you love, admire, embrace, and respect. I've learned many things but the most important is that sisterhood and friendship is at the root of all strength, and serves as one of the most virtuous crowns to ever wear. Be good to women...even those you don't know. We all share the same cord of femininity and you should respect that until it's blatantly disrespected. And even then, be as civil as possible. Taming your inner beast is never cowardice; it's a strength not many possess.
I promise you are enough and you never ever ever ever need to size up another woman to figure out this measurement. No one in this world could ever be youer than you. You are completely unique from any other woman in this world. Including myself.
Comparatively, don't be afraid to hang around people who are underdeveloped in their virtues, but just be grounded enough not to be influenced. Jesus himself walked alongside imperfect people. I want you to walk alongside those who are troubled and help them in the ways you are blessed to. Never lose that common touch.
There's beauty in differences. Make family with people who don't look like you or share your same cultural roots. And honor those relationships that you foster by visiting, calling, sending surprise tokens, and caring. Be genuine in your delivery.
Be okay with being alone. It's a good place to be. Learn how to be energized in aloneness and not saddened by it. Don't let following a crowd eclipse you from being great, baby.
The years will pass by rather quickly so do meaningful things in between. Actually grow up and not just old. Do not just age, but mature. Be in touch with yourself and with what makes your spirit vibrate with goodness. Pay attention to the omens alongside your journey as well. They have been divinely placed there.
...at any moment anything could happen…I could escape into the wilderness of eternity having never taught you all these things, so I write this to capture all the things I want you to know as my daughter. As your mother it is my divine duty to train you up in the way you should go, and give you the tools that will best help you thrive in this world.
Most importantly, keep a sense of wonder about you. Life should be explored! Sneak away and go on a road trip with your friends and tell me about it 3 years later. As you mature, be wise but stay childish at heart. Dance freely, sing carelessly, love hard, laugh often, cry as you need to, make time to make strong memories, please be a woman of your word, lead an eventful life but keep a clean reputation...make me proud.
In me, you will always have a safe haven in mommys arms. Even when you ask for forgiveness instead of permission I will give it to you. I look forward to the easy days when you ramble through my purse, playing in my lipstick and perfumes while parading around the house in my heels. I will always allow you those memories because I believe every little girl should have those type of memories of her mother. I also brace myself for the harder days when your heart is first broken and it's my job to carefully help you pick up the shattered pieces. Or even the days when you enter your turbulent twenties and you are faced to answer the loaded question of: who am I and what the hell do I want to do with my life? I promise you...as long as I live, I will always have your back.
However, at any moment anything could happen…I could escape into the wilderness of eternity having never taught you all these things, so I write this to capture all the things I want you to know as my daughter. As your mother it is my divine duty to train you up in the way you should go, and give you the tools that will best help you thrive in this world. I will be the first woman you trust out of necessity and I promise to accurately as possible help you understand the world and paint a fair representation of it in our home. Already I feel very maternal and I haven't even met you yet. I can't wait to see how you take in information from your surrounding worlds and organize it into your own categories in your impressionable mind. I will wallow with excitement when you start to learn your ABCs, can count numbers, recognize shapes, and can even pen your name. Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh, an extension of my energy and earthly being...I bask in the fact that you are mine and I know you will leave a mark on this world just as you have already done on my heart.
Welcome to my views from this horizon!