There is a perfect way to deal with dysfunctional family.
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Don't!!!
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It doesn't matter how robust your work ethic may be, nor sturdy your determination. When it comes to people, you cannot control them or "fix" them. In fact, aiming to change people or demand they conduct themselves a particular way may very well conjure up deep feelings of resentment and divide. I know because I've taken this approach to no avail.
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What I have learned to do instead is accept the things that I cannot change, change the things I can, and learn the difference between the two. Everyone in this life, especially your family, has a journey that their soul is taking them on. Sometimes their journey can be vexing to you--particularly when you witness a lot of self-imposed destruction, repeated poor behaviors, and voluntary toxicity. However, instead of lending yourself, your sanity, and your resources to their destruction in hopes to change them, it may just be better to change the things you actually have control over. Like, how often you interact with them, if you allow yourself to be bothered by their self-destruction, or if you consistently make yourself available to their toxicity.
.
.
More than anything, realize that stress is very real, and it does the most damage to you when you are lending yourself to other people's fires. And by the time we realize, it's often too late. Learn that bloodline relation isn't obligation to be smothered in the the troubles of others. You deserve peace. Protect your peace.
.
.
Don't!!!
.
.
It doesn't matter how robust your work ethic may be, nor sturdy your determination. When it comes to people, you cannot control them or "fix" them. In fact, aiming to change people or demand they conduct themselves a particular way may very well conjure up deep feelings of resentment and divide. I know because I've taken this approach to no avail.
.
.
What I have learned to do instead is accept the things that I cannot change, change the things I can, and learn the difference between the two. Everyone in this life, especially your family, has a journey that their soul is taking them on. Sometimes their journey can be vexing to you--particularly when you witness a lot of self-imposed destruction, repeated poor behaviors, and voluntary toxicity. However, instead of lending yourself, your sanity, and your resources to their destruction in hopes to change them, it may just be better to change the things you actually have control over. Like, how often you interact with them, if you allow yourself to be bothered by their self-destruction, or if you consistently make yourself available to their toxicity.
.
.
More than anything, realize that stress is very real, and it does the most damage to you when you are lending yourself to other people's fires. And by the time we realize, it's often too late. Learn that bloodline relation isn't obligation to be smothered in the the troubles of others. You deserve peace. Protect your peace.