WHAT IF I TAKE OWNERSHIP OF MY LIFE AND STILL FAIL?

By: Lanisha D. Porter
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And so for emotional insurance, we yearn for a cushion that will comfort us if we take that shameful tumble downhill.

I've always struggled with whether or not I've wanted to subscribe to that mentality of "No Excuses" or not because I knew that it would make me solely accountable for my success in life. There would be no option to consider the social factors that influenced my positions in life, nor would there be any margin to point fingers at others as reason for my failures or shortcomings. Making yourself 1,000% accountable for your success is a scary thing to do because it creates a rigid expectation to succeed, no matter what. Choosing not to live by “No Excuses” allows you to easily accept and console your own shortcomings. It allows you to excuse all the dreams you couldn’t find the courage to try.

While it may seem like there’s nothing to it but to do it, there’s always that daunting question of: what if I fail?  And so for emotional insurance, we yearn for a cushion that will comfort us if we take that shameful tumble downhill. We think, “if I can't secure success with my willpower alone, I need something else to use as a scapegoat as to why I couldn’t.” Sometimes we convince ourselves that we really didn’t want it anyways. Or, all together we decide never to subscribe to the philosophy of “No Excuses” to prevent letting ourselves ever be disappointed.
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They are the ones who have the cheapest seats in your arena because they can sit and criticize what you have the courage to do, while never having the same courage to do it themselves. 

 
​​Whatever the case may be for you, I’ve learned this in my episodes of being fearful. While you can't control everything, you can control how you respond. And how you respond is just as essential to success as is what actually happens to you. You can't control tragedies such as death, having limited means, being rejected by jobs, or being abandoned...but you can control how you respond. You can choose to be made helpless or to stay hopeful. You can choose whether or not you will allow yourself to have new hopes and dreams if old ones were never realized. Sometimes we sit and think about how wonderful it would be to accomplish our dreams, but we also fear how awfully embarrassing it would be if we took control and failed in front of everyone. Can I tell you something? Never mind those thoughts. Especially never mind those who are waiting to laugh at you. They are the ones who have the cheapest seats in your  arena because they can sit and criticize what you have the courage to do, while NEVER having the same courage to do it themselves. The truth of the matter is this: taking a risk will always feel dangerous and vulnerable, but it'll be even more dangerous to one day realize you never covered any new space because you tip-toed around safety.  It will suck to realize you left your future in the hands of some mysterious force to coordinate for you, when you secretly had the very control to create your own destiny, yourself. Choose to live. Choose to defy fear. Choose your dreams. Choose to own your power in this life. My middle school principal each morning during the announcements would provide us with this aphorism which I didn’t understand until my maturity. It went "the choice is yours."