The Other Reason Girls Keep Their Virginity That No-One Talks About

By: Lanisha Porter

 If you grew up dragged to church as a small girl, then mostly you were forced to take the vow of purity that you would wait (Of course not understanding the tremendous task you were opting in for.) Maybe you were preached to about how you'd be closer to God by maintaining your gift for your husband only; or, maybe you were told that you are more valuable if you wait until marriage. Or, even maybe you were given the reason to stay pure because you'd bypass the risks of pregnancy and STDs. Whatever reason spearheaded your decision, the idea remains the same—you were keeping your virginity. ​

However, there’s another reason girls keep their virginity, outside of religious affiliation, that I don’t often hear people talk about.

Here it is:

Some girls keep their virginity simply because it’s a cocoon of innocence. (Stay with me, you’ll come to understand where I am going with this.) With your virginity, you are still in the running for "The Good Girl" qualifications; and honestly some don't want to leave that safe space. You don't want to give other people the margin to even mistake you to be in a class that you are not. ​
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...a woman’s virginity encompassed her goodness or her worthiness. Magically for women, it seems to behold a truth about our behaviors, our intentions, or our value. 

​Oddly, people assume the best of you, your character and your future when you are closer to purity. Anything less than that somehow subjects you to less fortunate realities. Growing up, these ideas were reinforced from comments heard while eavesdropping in on guy talk. Time and time again while being surrounded by men and learning from their conversations, it was clear to me that they believed a woman’s virginity encompassed her goodness or her worthiness. Magically for women, it seems to behold a truth about our behaviors, our intentions, or our value. 

There are girls holding out right now, maybe not even because of religious convictions, but simply because from the men dearest to them, they are persuaded and feel compelled to never be one of those girls who aren't pure. They are not encouraged to identify with the very same women in which the men they love, selfishly use to secure their own agendas through. (Did y’all get that!? Because that was deep.) Virgins are to maintain the veil of goodness, purity, and worth, while men related to these virgins rob other women of theirs. They are never to qualify themselves to be called a slut, hoe, or thot. Instead, they are to remain whole, good, and close to God...and so they keep their virginity. Maybe not even because they want it, but because they're afraid. Afraid to no longer be worthy of praise; afraid of being torn from their veil of safety; afraid that their name might be brought up during the mention of women who are underwhelming. Simply some women keep their virginity for protection against judgment, and shame.