Suicidal Ones

by: LanishA Porter

​You are not crazy. You are not unstable. You are not disordered. These are all things society would see fit to call you.
 
I think, rather, you are just tired. You are an angel who's ready to go back home; a lung needing fresh air, or even a mind wanting to be stretched to new dimensions. And you are not wrong for being homesick in such unfamiliar places. It's only natural. You are not wrong for wanting clean air in a polluted world whose fumes of hate, inequality, and ugliness often make it hard to breathe. And you certainly aren't wrong for being ambitious and wanting to explore the unknown now that you've already experienced some of what there is to know in this world.​

But before you pack your bags and get ready to cross over into a world offering new air, or one that covers new grounds, or a world that takes you back home, I ask you to reconsider. Though I don't think you are wrong for wanting to escape, I do think you are being unfair to yourself. I think you may be rushing things a bit. I don't think you should stop your show in the middle of the scenes that are painful, confusing, or unjust. I think you should keep living and let your clock exhaust itself. In between now and then I believe you will see things get better. I even believe you will rise above and be able to offer encouragement to those after you who may also be tempted to flee from this world. But if you never make it to your end, how can you encourage them to make it to theirs? The part of your story that is worth being told is the part where you overcome; not the part where things get hard. One thing I know about life is that it is a circle. Hence the circle of life. Within that circle there is a pattern that repeats itself. Everyone's pattern is different but everyone has one. The pattern is this: happiness and sadness. Reaping and sowing. Highness and lowness. And lightness and darkness. These are all sequences that will surely be apart of your life's pattern. But just as a circle never stops going...your sadness, your sowing, your lowness and your personal darkness will not last forever...life will keep going. The hard stuff is only temporary. Happiness, reaping, highness, and lightness are in transition to come back around to you. But if you leave, you rob yourself of the chance to ever see the grand finale. Please stay and allow life a chance to get better. Ultimately this means you will have to just persevere through the hard times but everything on the other side of that pain makes it worth going through. You may have thoughts of escaping this world time and time again, but you do not have to accept each thought offered to you. You are much stronger than you give yourself credit for being. You got this. ❤️​