Everyone Lied to Me about Love

The idea sold to most girls is that if you focus on and develop yourself, the perfect guy will come along eventually. All you have to do is have something to offer and you’ll "find" happiness. I fell for that idea.

Immerse myself in my education. Check.
Have a sense of independence. Check.
Be pretty. Check
Dress well. Check.
Keep a clean reputation. Check
Have more to offer than looks. Check
Be fun. Check.

Well, life-after that checklist suggests that I've been slightly, well...gravely, misled. The truth that I have uncovered is that you can master that entire checklist and have even more to offer and "Mr.Perfect" still will not come galloping over some horizon to bring you happiness. Once you get close enough to any man, you will learn that he is not perfect. Bummer. Truth is, once you get close enough you will see that each man will disappoint you, However, I have a new opinion that I think holds valid which is: maybe love isn’t about finding someone who will not disappoint you. Maybe love means to some degree you will settle and will have to become strong enough to love despite. That “despite” will be different for everyone but the despite will be there.

I wish someone told me earlier that all people have deep character flaws even…especially, in love. False romanticism sells the dream that human frailty will not be found in love. False romanticism thrives on the saying “you deserve better” than someones errors. It teaches that if your capacity to love overlooks too many errors then you lack self-esteem, self-love and are a victim of stupidity. False romanticism encourages us to be head-strong and exist in our inviolable spheres of life coddled from pain or disappointment. But I believe the purest and most authentic form of love I have ever experienced is that from God. He has been more patient with me than I have been with myself, and his love has never failed me even when I have blatantly disobeyed him in sin. I strive to love like that. I strive to emulate love that’s greater than false romanticism. The only precursor I will add is that, in order to love like that you must already FIRST love yourself unconditionally.